notebook & pen

Why do I have to go through this?

Like every month?

Cry in the toilet for no apparent reason? (Okay, there was actually one but I won't tell you now coz really, it's no biggie...)

Eat Mcflurry everyday for one week? 

Skip workouts. 

Skip prayer times.

Be negative. 

Be very negative about everything.

Feel like sh*t for being negative about everything. 

Be in hell. 

Every month. 

January.

February.

March.

April. 

May.

June. 

July. 

August. 

September.

October. 

November.

December.

Repeat. 

Every single month. 

PMS. You are my worst nightmare. 

But thank God I woke up. 

With prayers. Lots and lots of prayers.

Minute by minute struggle to be up. 

Conscious effort to mentally count blessings. 

And that one trip to Popular to get this notebook and pen: 

Yes. A new notebook is almost always my 'big hug' whenever days are gloomy. I decorated it with stickers, wrote my thoughts on the first page, doodled some good things, plans to look forward to...  and voila, instant smile on my face!

I wonder, do you ever feel this way? Please say yes so I'll feel better completely. lol.

XO :)
Gen

some days are better than others...

So today hubby is sick. Migs just was the most demanding baby. I think he's kind of wanting to already be the "terrible two". Thank God he's napping now, gives me time to share my rants. Thank God Kuya is the same sweet sweet guy who today gave me one big surprise. He just went towards me, looked at me in the eye, kissed me on the lips, looked at me again, and walked away. Another "more than words" moment.

But I just feel so grouchy. I'm having these negative thoughts. I feel homesick. I just feel giving up on something. So tiring. Now don't tell me things like quitter never wins... blah blah blah. That's just the last thing I want to hear. I just feel so tired of trying to be a Christian who should love his enemy... or maybe...

It's just pms. I hate this part of every month.

homesick

Am I? or is it just my acute pms. But I really do miss our little home in Eastland. I wonder how it looks like now without me taking care of it :( I miss my friends. Esp my best friends. Friends who would love to be with me no matter what. I miss my family. Esp my nephews and nieces. I miss the food. The very affordable food. I miss the Ukay2. I miss so many things. Part of me just wants to go. But I know it's not just feasible. Walang iwanan. Bisan diin dapat updanay.

I just have to deal with it. More homesick moments to come. and go. I just have to remind myself of the good things. The little things to thank for today: strolling with Migs and hearing him say car, bes (bus),mama, nice comments from friends, chat with sisters (all 3 of them),and text for my brother(wala pa reply), chat with my hubby(the best gift ever.ambot ma ano ko kun wala sya, inta haw), putting my bugoys to sleep, facebook, coffee, tinola ni nang didang, "crash my kitchen tv show" i watch now while blogging, my new nail polish (inta pa gd) which reminds me,ma pedicure ko anay.

the fruit of my labor, ginansya sa mga negosyo hehe

our doorway

papang did this. nice no?

papang and mamang's project

sarisa or mansanitas

:( super miss this

and this :( lau ra kau sa amo CR karon ambot.

and this. 1 million memories

syempre this. esp the hi chair. haaay.