even in a bad day

I was so shocked to read my father's message on my Facebook wall this morning... telling me that the band barracks where  my sister Che2 and brother-in-law Victor (and another BIL, Reinee) stay burned to ashes. They are all cops and as members of Philippine National Police - Band, that had been their home for many years which explains why my sister is so devastated right now. 

First, that's where she and her husband met. Then they got married. That place was their first home. All the gifts on their wedding day must be there (this one I need to confirm with her). Their photos. Their documents. Her SHOES (she loves shoes!). Her jewelries! I thought of these things the minute I heard about the bad news. I felt really sorry and wished I could hug her and be there for her in her great sorrow for losing all those things she has been working hard for all these years! 

But the next minute, I cried while praying, thanking God for saving my sister's life and though in a painful way, for giving her this opportunity to experience NOTHINGNESS which leads her to see and focus only on what she has right now --- people who love her and people she loves + memories + her FAITH. Things that really matter. I told her that. And I also told her to just detach from those things, for God knows what she needs. She will have everything she needs and even more.

True enough, so many people are extending their help. Some big, some little --- but the best thing about this is the thought, the communion, the peace.  I would give up what I have just to have all these intangible things ---plus the JOY in knowing that I have a God who loves me so all I have to do is relax and let Him take care of everything!

"For the mountains may depart, the hills may be shaken, but my love for you will never leave you and my covenant of peace with you will never be shaken, says the Lord who takes pity on you."

So yes, even in a bad day, God is good!!!

notebook & pen

Why do I have to go through this?

Like every month?

Cry in the toilet for no apparent reason? (Okay, there was actually one but I won't tell you now coz really, it's no biggie...)

Eat Mcflurry everyday for one week? 

Skip workouts. 

Skip prayer times.

Be negative. 

Be very negative about everything.

Feel like sh*t for being negative about everything. 

Be in hell. 

Every month. 

January.

February.

March.

April. 

May.

June. 

July. 

August. 

September.

October. 

November.

December.

Repeat. 

Every single month. 

PMS. You are my worst nightmare. 

But thank God I woke up. 

With prayers. Lots and lots of prayers.

Minute by minute struggle to be up. 

Conscious effort to mentally count blessings. 

And that one trip to Popular to get this notebook and pen: 

Yes. A new notebook is almost always my 'big hug' whenever days are gloomy. I decorated it with stickers, wrote my thoughts on the first page, doodled some good things, plans to look forward to...  and voila, instant smile on my face!

I wonder, do you ever feel this way? Please say yes so I'll feel better completely. lol.

XO :)
Gen

feeling bad

I'm disappointed. Makes me want to be home (in Bacolod) and be with ...

An
Tatskie
Cindy
Kikay
Miletski
Jing
Tinteen

I miss them so much and I hate them for not being techy enough to get hooked on Facebook and Skype and the like so that I could reach them when I badly need them... for instance, right now.

It is also at this time when I realize how valuable and precious the kind of friendship I have with them. I don't think they will ever read this. Because they don't blog. Or if they do read this, I don't think they will comment. Because they don't know how to post a comment. lol.

I love them and I THANK God that in my lifetime I experienced wonderful friendship with them.

I hope to see them soon. God willing.

kapoy

I know these things are just fleeting. They are not the ones that will give me lasting happiness.... but with some stressful and tiring family hullabaloo back home (as if I don't have my own cross and a million concerns too) I am honestly tired. Trying my best to feel ok.

I wish I could just focus on the positive and happy and selfish and worldly stuff ...like being DT? Thank  you Creative Scrappers for making me part of the team (and sorry I had to announce in such a foul mood... I hope I can make it up to you) *sigh

... and thank you so much American Crafts! My goodies for winning the challenge arrived (smile a bit but thinks about problems and frowns again) *sigh

It means, these things can't take those problems away. 

I know what can but too negative to do anything :(

 ****#*#*#*&@#&@&@&@&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

i dream of this

Crafters who meet often and have so much FUN.... 

*photos from Etsy.

smile :)

Some cuteness to drive bad mood away.... please Lord, I know I am an aunty but I wanna be a happy aunty. Not a grumpy one. Sigh.

went out on a date

... holding on to that special moment yesterday when he said, "Mommy I'm so happy." Because other than that, I feel so down, tired, discouraged, so negative about something. I just hate this roller coaster of emotions. I wish I knew how to deal with it in a snap.

isn't it ironic

Spent the weekend in an awesome retreat, having full expectations that I'm fully charged for the battle of the real crazy life ahead.... but a few hours after we got home, I had a fight with dear hubby :( and it's the very first fight concerning guess-what?

my hobby :(

He has never complained before. Ever. Until last night. Because he was packing for a week's trip to Canada and I never lifted a finger to help him :(

Because I was making this ...

And I was so upset about the whole thing. and one thing led to another .... but I thank God because we are ok now.  He even promised for a movie date when he gets back :)

But i still feel guilty that it was so difficult to finish the project... and when i finally finished it I didn't like it. Looks so unhappy no matter how I try to embellish, stamp: "hope your day shines", used "inspire" die-cut, add mediums... it looks so distressed, and not so inspiring. Like how I really feel inside. Arrrgh! This too shall pass. Tomorrow will be better.

just one of those days

It's not one of the best days of my life... I just feel so down...

But I want to believe its a good day because of these handsome little gentlemen who adore me.  Who loves my company. Who would stop at anything they are doing just to give me a kiss and a hug. Who would still say I love you Mommy even if I pinch their cheeks a hundred times a day.

And ...

• Miguel doesn't wear diapers anymore. Two days of potty training and he did it! (I remember it also took him 2 days to learn how to wear flip flops!)
• Kuya knows to ride his bike. 
• We played. We put lots of coins in his coin bank together... played with foam alphabets.
• Watched Hi-5 with the 2 cuties. With tickle-war and lots of kisses on the side.
• I worked out for 25 minutes.
• I prayed.
• I did my pedicure. Nicely.
• We have roof over our heads. A nice and clean one.
• I have a loving and supportive husband. Who told me he loved what I wore yesterday. Plain shirt, jeans and a fitflop. He said it many times before but I still like it every time he does. 
• I had a nice chat with a friend. Was it nice? I think we gossiped a little bit haha well it felt nice.
• I teach and scrap on days that I choose. 
• And this made me smile today :) I got a blog award here. Thanks so much smdluxe! So sweet of you.... see ya around the blogosphere. 

Apparently, it's not really so bad right. God loves me. I am blessed. 

By the way,  I made 2 cards for cousin-in-law Jill and my dear friend Tatskie... wish I could find time to make more... 

Feels so good to share.  Why do I always forget. Night. Sweet dreams to us.... 

recycled mini "gift tags" album :)

Friday!

Thought I was having a great day until someone from the underworld tried to ruin it. It really got me for some minutes. Thank God for the angels whose names start with B, R and M... I got back to my senses and laughed it away!  I even managed to record a video with angel  M while Angel R was already in dreamland :) You just couldn't stay angry with them around....

Angels sleeping now except for the oldest (lol) who won't allow me to blog longer *wink* so Im leaving you with this:

...tags of the $5 tank tops I got from Cotton On :)

+

... recent fave: Ranger's Claudine Hellmuth semi-gloss paint! 

=

Lovely "gift tag" mini mini album! :)

Hope you like it! Proud to say, It's my original idea :) :):) Gtg! Movie time BB via my new gadget :):):)

{july}

I just cried a moment ago due to some difficult situation we are facing, but I decide to let it go. God is in charge. I'm tired of that something and I want to surrender it to God. I admit I haven't been praying faithfully lately :( maybe God misses me :(

Thanks to scrapbooking, "deciding" to GO ON is easier... I just need to post this today so I can move on to my next task on the list...

I made my "July goals" LO first week of July but was not quite satisfied so I just posted it on the wall (I do it every month) but didn't have the guts to show it off ... till I saw this  tutorial from Jennifer McGuire. It was my first time to see how a "dabber" is used. I found it fun and tried it immediately with mr. owl...

I had so much fun dabbing (now im smiling:)) and I even highlighted mr. owl's eye! ... cuteness...thanks to these helpful pals ...

...color box from Meming (thank you Kuring love u!), dabbers, Sizzix owl die, versa color, stamp markers (owl's eye), and my frequently used sharpie and white pen :)

Now, with the help of mr. owl, giving a "complete" feeling to my work,  I can show you my July motivator, our two deepest reasons for all the hard work and sacrifices, our cutie pie apple pie sons, Rujim and Miguel... they make us strong, so happy, "wealthy", and so blessed.

... also used, MM paints, MS punchers, AC heatwave pps, MR stamp, stickles, and K&Company stickers :) many thanks to Aida and MWL for  these freebies!

Thank you for looking. I feel better. I believe all things work together for those who love the Lord. I should never worry. He works. He moves. He loves us all the time.  

what a day

Seven years ago at this time, I couldn't sleep. It was the eve of my wedding. Now, I couldn't sleep again. not for the same reason, but because something really bad happened today. Kuya almost got lost in the church. I was thinking he was with Mae, my cousin who helps me in taking care of the boys, and she also thought K was with me. The moment I realized we didn't have him with us, I whispered a prayer of surrender to God. I ran back to church and ask for help from anybody I came across with, among whom was a church warden. Everything happened in just a few minutes. I think about 5 minutes. But it felt like forever. I was just praying praying praying, I couldn't cry. I remember I was standing by the exit of the church when hubby called me and told me Mae got Kuya already. When I saw him I held him and I don't know how it felt. Mixed emotions. It's not a very happy moment. I almost fainted. But I am praising and thanking God Kuya is here with me, safe and warm. Thank You Lord for that angel who held him and waited for someone to find him. This is a great lesson for us as a family. Needless to say, I must be more focused on my sons next time we go out. Though I can never thank the Lord enough for finding my son, I still shiver with the thought. I can only pray that this bad feeling goes away already. It's torture :(

Seven years ago, I read a passage and that made me sleep peacefully. I'm gonna do it again now....

Psalm 23

A psalm of David.
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Now I hope to have a good night sleep. Tomorrow's going to be a great, special day :) God loves us!

it's a fine day

My way of deciding to have a good day despite having otherwise. A very simple, really fast less-than-30-min page. Inspired by Dear Lizzy's challenge in pp. 36 of her book.

See my smiles now? :):):)

Mr. Sun is handpainted (just added some DoodleBug Sugar Coating). Kabalo man ko gali hahaha!

Here, another first try: stitching!

JOURNALING:

Dear Benjo, Rujim Paul and Miguel,

There are days when I wake up in the wrong side of our crowded queen bed (which reminds me, K and B, you munchkins should really transfer to your own beds!) but constanly, because of the three of you, who love me unconditionally, it just ends perfectly fine.

Yes, even if our bed is already quite small for the four of us :)

Love,

The Beautiful Mommy in the house.

P.S. Thank you for making me smile. For your hugs and kisses. For making me feel I'm the best in the world. XOXO.

simple vs. real

A simple friend doesn’t know your parents’ first names.

A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.

A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.

A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.

A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.

A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.

A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.

A real friend knows that it’s not a friendship until after you’ve had afight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.

A real friend expects to always be there for you!

***end***

I could add some more lines just to prove my point. But I'd like to believe that we shouldn't say something when we're mad, pissed, irritated.... because now, im extremely irritated. Like I wanna strangle someone because of something. And that someone is supposed to be my friend.

Thanks to Hannah's great news. I can let this one pass. At least for a day? Help me Lord.

you know what?

Earlier today,
I worried about something,
envied someone,
felt bad about myself,
got confused,
felt alone,
thought life's unfair...

So I asked Him,
silently cried,
I prayed,
and said sorry for these negative thoughts...

He led me to read my favorite book...
The book I've been reading and reading for years...
and He told me:

"Do not lose the courage you had in the past, which has a great reward."

Thank You Lord. You are a living God!

some days are better than others...

So today hubby is sick. Migs just was the most demanding baby. I think he's kind of wanting to already be the "terrible two". Thank God he's napping now, gives me time to share my rants. Thank God Kuya is the same sweet sweet guy who today gave me one big surprise. He just went towards me, looked at me in the eye, kissed me on the lips, looked at me again, and walked away. Another "more than words" moment.

But I just feel so grouchy. I'm having these negative thoughts. I feel homesick. I just feel giving up on something. So tiring. Now don't tell me things like quitter never wins... blah blah blah. That's just the last thing I want to hear. I just feel so tired of trying to be a Christian who should love his enemy... or maybe...

It's just pms. I hate this part of every month.

Why God Made Mums

My hubby sent this to me via email. Perfect gesture for a very imperfect mood I'm having. Im disappointed with some fair weather friendships I have. I wish I can get rid of it. Sorry, doing WWJD is just too difficult at this minute. Maybe a bit later.

Thanks Baby for making me smile today by forwarding this cute article. And thanks for being my friend. The consistent one.

WHY GOD MADE MUMS
Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the sticky tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.


How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mum just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.


What ingredients are mothers made of ?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.


Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mum?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's Mums like me.


What kind of little girl was your Mum?
1. My Mum has always been my Mum and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.


What did Mum need to know about Dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?


Why did your Mum marry your Dad?
1. My Dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mum eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My Grandma says that Mum didn't have her thinking cap on.


Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mum doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such an idiot.
2. Mum. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mum is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.


What's the difference between Mums & Dads?
1. Mums work at work and work at home and Dads just go to work at work.
2. Mums know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but Mums have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Mums have magic, they make you feel better without medicine..


What does your Mum do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't have spare time.
2. To hear her talk, she pays bills all day long.


What would it take to make your Mum perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. You know, her hair. I'd die it, maybe blue.


If you could change one thing about your Mum, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mum smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

I offer my blog silence for a while... for a friend who is facing a painful challenge. God is embracing her right now. I believe God is with us. All the time, He is good.

i need a hug

have you ever felt as if nobody loves you? as if nobody thinks of you at the moment? that's how i feel right now. today. i know im wrong. but that's how i feel.

thank you Meming for these. i just look at them. and i feel a lot better. somehow, a concrete reminder that at one point, you thought about me and made an effort to make me feel special.

this is huge. to know i am loved.

bye bye stress! :)

Life has been a little rough lately. Our Daddy is away again. So many things to be done, so little time. The little Miggy is kinda demanding as he wants to be cuddled all the time! Kilala mo si sakit likod? hehe Kuya Uji also needs my time... and there are bouts of power struggles. Especially because he can't speak clearly yet (We are into therapy .. and i thinks that's another blog story... maybe soon, promise). But...

Life isn't that cloudy. Far from it. I see to it that I take every much-deserved breaks by blogging and spending time with my honey banana via YM... by playing with Kuya at least 30 mins in his playroom... by having caramelo every chance I get... and yes.. by looking at big and small things that God gives us everyday. Things that are beautiful.. there are many of them around. such as these super cute stuff my Baby Miguel wears these days. Can you believe there's a FILA socks for a newborn? LOL. the cuteness makes me smile :) bye bye stress!

hey, got to go... breaktime over! :)