Christ is Risen! *warning: long post!*

I am sad to see how some of the Catholics I know celebrate Holy Week. I would like to tell each and everyone of them it is more than just vacation and taking a break at the nicest beach. It is not just a time for eating benignit (a Filipino sweet porridge).  I am not generalising though. For we may go to the nicest beach and eat benignit in a reflective mode. Or we may starve to death showing people we fast and suffer but we judge and hate with our hearts harder than hard boiled eggs. Bottom line, how we celebrate this most important week of our Christian faith is between us and HIM :) 

When I was in my twenties (wow I felt old saying that lol) my parents introduced me and my four  younger siblings to this Easter practices: fasting and prayer from Good Friday to Easter Sunday. No solids, just water as much as possible. If we really couldn't take it, we could have Milo or soup. It was not compulsory but I saw my father doing it so religiously so I felt ashamed and started to do it too. I tried to pray and reflect a bit but over the years, I  realized I just did it for  the sake of doing it. It's quite fun and fulfilling to be able to do it. It gave me pride. In short, I did it, yes, but not so much for the right reasons... 

Fast forward in my late thirties. Wow. I have come a long way in my faith,  still struggling and failing a lot. But it is a lot different now because I am doing it not with pride, but with much joy and peace, believing that in my failures and shortcomings, God loves and accepts me. I don't need to make pa-impress :) 

I also realised why Jesus rose from death. 

Yeah, I know He died. It's because of my sins but that's way too abstract for me. I have been longing to understand the concrete. This year, I found it. He endured all the pain and suffering (I have recently watched a documentary on  how it really was for Jesus to be crucified, as explained by doctors, scientists. It was too painful to watch. He SUFFERED. Very Painfully. His skin, bones, muscles, his heart, his lungs, his mind. All of his being.  HE HAD A CHOICE to say NO. But he didn't. I was crying inside, wanting to close my eyes and ears like I normally would for horror movies). He suffered and chose to die. So that in my PAIN and suffering, I will remember that He suffered too. I will remember that he is with me. I am never alone. 

I know He chose to die. So that He can rise again. For my salvation. He died so that we can CELEBRATE EASTER!!! SO That at this time of the year, I can shout with joy: CHRIST IS RISEN!!! And when I do so, I will remember why...

Christ is risen because I can love my CROSS. I can accept my suffering with total trust and obedience. 

Christ is risen because I can be happy and continue to love life even if my beloved eldest son has Autism. Celebrating his being different, accepting the difficulties that come with it, with a smile :) And when I do so, I am more open to greater possibilities. Freedom. Enthusiasm in  my autism advocacy and in teaching Kuya.

Christ is risen because I can understand and accept (although not in a cheesy way, yet.) a friend who hurt and have done me harm. Realising in the process that I am not a perfect friend too. 

Christ is risen because I can give even if  at times I feel I have nothing, even if it is painful. Discovering in the end that giving with no IFs and BUTs will give me peace without compare. 

Christ is risen because I can love myself. The ugly me. The bad me. Seeing in the end that I am beautiful and good because I am God's daughter. 

Christ is risen so that I WILL BE HAPPY :) It is therefore a very Happy EASTER!!!! 

... Easter goodies! Hard eggs, a symbol of our hardened hearts without Christ. We need him constantly so that we can love our enemies and find happiness in the process. 

... last year, I wished for this. For Kuya to be with us. Although, because of his sensory struggles, couldn't stay in a room full of rejoicing sinners, he had to stay in a different room, playing Ipad. But he was smiling everytime I checked on him :) I was really happy that night *tears of joy*.

... Mae took our blurry family photo above. Then I took this clear photo of her with my handsome princes. Life can be unfair you know! haha! 

... This boy who slept last year,  walked with the kids for the procession, holding a candle, sang with his musical sticks, sat with the cantors, stayed awake til after the 9 readings! And Japheth (his church BFF, beside him) stayed awake the whole time! They and all the other children did all these away from their Moms and Dads! Wow! So deserving of all those Easter chocolates :) 

... for many years, we would celebrate Easter Agape dinner in hotels or in nice restaurants. This year, we opted for a much simpler, cheaper venue... Uncle Loius! It's a kopitiam Agape inspired by the humility and the simplicity of our beloved Pope Francis :) And I double confirmed: IT'S THE COMPANY THAT COUNTS! :) 

Thank to you if you are still there! I pray, may everyday be an Easter to you and your family! xoxo, Gen.

I love him!

First time I noticed as I watched him deliver his message was that, he seems very charming. Smiles a lot, jokes, and so humble that he asked the people to pray for him. And for the first time, unlike other popes and religious leaders, he speaks using very simple words! I liked him immediately so I googled more about him and these are some few things I found:

• He refused the papal car and chose to take the bus with the cardinals.
• He picked up his luggage from the hotel and paid his own bills. 
• During the dinner with the cardinals, he did not sit on the "raised" chair and sat instead with the cardinals.
• He responded to a toast with a remark: "May God forgive you for what you have done".  
• Humble 
• Simple. Very simple in his lifestyle, and even in speech!
• He kisses the feet of AIDS patients.
• He prays with prostitutes.
• Gentle but firm.
• Loving but fearless. 

It is with no doubt, I can say, that the Church is in good hands. It is with gratefulness to God for giving us a wonderful guy, the coolest Pope ever to inspire and help us in our journey of salvation.

My kudos, admiration and huge love goes out to Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI for choosing to die to himself, stepping down so that others may live, truly following Christ's example. I believe he was anointed to make such decision knowing that in his advanced age and failing health, someone else is more fit to do the duty. It needs an extraordinary amount of courage and humility to do what he did.

... the Pope in a bus with the cardinals. He is so ordinary the "elite" and the "sosyalan" will hate him LOL :P 

... the 3 beloved Popes in my lifetime together in one photo! All 3 are supporters of the NC Way! I'm at the right track. A very narrow track though. 

On a personal level,  I am filled with joy to find out just this morning, that the Pope has always been very close with the initiators of Neocatechumenal Way, has always shown his affection and support to the way and has even celebrated the Eucharist with the community in various occasions. It double confirmed my hunch! I could feel it already. He seems to WALK the neocatechumenal way TALK: simplicity, humility, and love for the cross. 

I'm just so happy! it feels like Easter came early :) 

Long live POPE FRANCIS!!! 

Wordless Wednesday: Echo Convivence 2013

Easter recap...

Easter is the most important part of my Christian Life. How can I ever not post about it? Promptly? Sigh. Just too many things in my plate right now. But each day I thank the Lord for the grace to do all things through Him who strenghtens me :) With Him at my side I can ganbatte!

So though I'm like 2 weeks late, I shall share with you my Easter 2012 memories...

... I was assigned by our responsible to make the easter egg baskets for the kids of the whole community who like us adults, would stay awake for the Easter Vigil from almost midnight up until the vigil is finished. By finished it means about 6 am. My Miguel slept halfway through the event. We'll see next year how it goes :)

... We dress our best! Taking this photo and going to the very special and grand celebration without Kuya is a sign that I have accepted and kissed one of my crosses. Now, I don't feel that pain anymore if Kuya can't be with us in occasions such as this. It is part of His plan. I love Him. I believe He loves me. I trust and obey Him. But God is full of surprises. Who knows what  next year would be like? *looking up to heaven*

... our community was so excited that we were the first to arrive!

... One of my fave photos. Two little boys. Future cantors of the community.

... Like father like son. Thanks to Jimmy Badilla and Flor Badilla of Jimflors for the handpainted barongs!

... There were many times during the celebration when I got teary-eyed. This is one of them. Cecilia, mother of seven (three of them belong to our community) answering her son's question: "Why is this night so different?" It was so honest, sincere, pure and so inspiring.

... we all look forward to this :) 

... and this! :) 

... and most especially this? ^ LOL! Easter recap to be continued soon! Thanks for staying with me up til here. Christ is risen! He is truly risen! =)

courageous and humbled

... that's what I hope to have become after our community's weekend retreat. Nothing compares to the joy and conviction I feel in my heart after God talked to me strongly and concretely about the two things... the two questions I have been carrying in my heart for so long. One is the question about being open to life. Hubby and I very much wanted to have another baby but there was fear for so many reasons. Another burden is about this particular person I consider my cross  --- I simply dislike her for reasons I cannot share out loud to protect her. All these time I thought it is her fault for being like this and like that. In this world's point of view, she is really crazy and irritating. The kind of irritation that will make you cry. She is my cross and I bet she knows because I feel that she does things to prove something to the world. But then this weekend I realized that God loves her as much as He loves me. And my judging and hating her is a form of slavery to sin. This sin brings me farther and farther away from Him. So today, I am happy to say that I will let that person be. In fact, I am praying that she will be truly and genuinely happy in whatever endeavor she wants to take. That she will be victorious and see how much she is loved by God. I pray too for myself. That I will stop looking at her and fix my eyes on Christ instead. He was crucified for the sins He didn't do. And just like Christ, I too will be resurrected :)

So now, what?

Nothing. I need not do anything. God does not need me to be number 1. I don't need to be a winner. To be cool to be a super woman. To be this and that. God loves me just the way I am. No labels. No titles.

I repeat. God loves me. Even when I suck. And he badly wants me to experience that kind of LOVE. So that all those fears will go away. Because He loves me and will take care of me. Because His will for me is the best and He knows what he is doing. I must not doubt. I must trust. I must relax.

That's why today, I lay down my concrete steps:

1) Hubby and I are open to life. In His grace.
2) I will always always pray for my cross. Kiss my cross. Adore my cross. It's very difficult I know but I can do it with God's help.

Oh how I praise and thank God for this FREEDOM.

... our community "class picture" I love to look at everyone's faces =)

... serious at scrutacio. 

... our dear cantors. Someday Miguel will be one of them. Amen.

... my treasures.

... Josephine and I playing while our responsibles and co-responsibles are serious and stressed haha!

... Theresa, so happy you were able to join us! 

... what a precious moment.

... w, Ate JJ! Migs couldn't smile coz his mouth is full! 

... love love love this moment at the table. The young ones taking turn to play while Kuya happily obliged =)

And what's a convivence without FOOD? Two days and two nights of diet-free buffet! Oh my! 

That's all! Until next time =) 

date with Him.

After 3 days and 3 nights of praying, listening to the catechists, scrutinizing the bible, listening to one another, I have realized how sinful I am and how little my faith is... therefore I must always ask for His wisdom. I must always seek for the Holy Spirit. In His grace, I will be renewed. Little by little.

I thank You Lord for calling us by our names. Blessing and glory,  honor and praise be to our God! Amen!

"Our history is important."

"Do not run away from your cross."

Prayer: In the morning, let me know your love.

insta-moments

I thank the Lord for granting me another day, filled with beautiful things and happy moments, captured by instagram...

• beautiful lilies and gerberas I just arranged
• fun train and bus rides... the only thing that can make K and B wake up and take a shower way too early than usual
• those boxes I made using my latest toy :) so excited to be sharing additional goodies at ThoughtfulCrafts  tomorrow!
• chocolates. Just love to see the kids and the feeling-kids munch on them with delight! :) 
• Kuya feeling so comfortable and happy with the community. 
• Migs enjoying the company of Nene, Judith, Jolene, Joyce and the rest of the young members of our St. Anthony family. 

Life is not insta-picture perfect. It's just that I love to capture happy moments. Because in truth, happy moments are more and bigger than sad ones. All we have to do is be attentive and open enough to capture them! :)

Let's end the week with love... and prayers for all especially those affected by the recent typhoon in the Philippines... 

Happy 46th Birthday Singapore!

One of the best things Singapore gave me and my family is our St. Anthony community (Neocatechumenal Way) in Woodlands. We couldn't imagine life without our brothers and sisters who, like us, walk the narrow but fulfilling path. In life's ups and downs, we can rely on our brothers and sisters who love and accept us. We may be in a foreign land but we always feel at home because of our community.

Played with my Crate Paper's neighborhood collection, (one of the prizes I got for winning one of it's monthly contests! yay!), stickler, glimmer mists, and my forever favorites: buttons and dew drops!

Speaking of contests and prizes, do you want to win this one? :):):)

Visit Made With Love now and find out how you are able to win this scrappy goodness worth $100! It's our way of celebrating National Day! Hurry! Hurry! 

Is MOTHERS DAY necessary?

For the past years, I really make a big deal out of special days like these. But lately (maybe it's really like this when you get older? Wiser?) I feel like it doesn't really matter. EVERYDAY should be mothers day, birthday, Christmas day.... all the special days that we can think of. Somehow I understand those who say, all these special occasions are just "marketing strategies" of this worlds capitalists.... consumerism in other words.

Life is too short. I believe it is so sad to think that we need to wait for another mothers day to tell our mothers we love them. Who knows if I am still alive tomorrow? It's a cliche but I want to always remember to live my EVERY day as if its my last. So help me my God!

Nevertheless, I still, somehow like mothers day :) so I made these layouts {using Echo Park's Life is Good papers} to honor my  two lovely mothers...

HE is because she is: "You'll know she's the best mom, because he is the best dad and husband"... I always say this, over and over, how blessed I am to have her as my mom-in-law.  So supportive, so understanding, so kind of her affirmations for me. She never gives me a hard time! She respects me as her son's beloved :) She's the coolest...  I love her!

GIRLS just wanna have fun: "Dearest God, If I had my way, I want more kids, more girls... It's more fun, more help when needed, more laughters and tears... most of all, more gifts on mothers day =)" ... I love this photo taken at our home in Bacolod on New Year's Eve... mother complied to our "arte" pouty glam pose hahaha! I love my mother so much. I just want her to be happy always... 

Mothers day tags made of American Cratfs Abode line... so cute are these little cups, saucers and laddle prints! {inside the boxes are my special moist brownies}

One thing that made this day special this year, is that we spent the whole day with our community for a monthly convivence. And I had goose bumps upon listening to the random gospel chosen for the day. It was about the two mothers Mary and Elizabeth. It felt like Jesus was celebrating with us! Awesomeness!

Ordinary scene but sweet moment preserved in our cam: walking towards our block after alighting bus 961 =) 

And our way of celebrating mothers day: PIZZA! We don't usually do this as we think it's expensive than home cooked meal. lol but the boys ate so much! Kuya kept on asking for more. It looks like we are gonna do this often. Di kabayran =)

Now, to answer my post's title: Is mothers day necessary? I believe so... It is very necessary. Everyday.